Colonel Mustard in the kitchen with the plate.
An account of actual events, as told by the investigator.
It was a dark and rainy Tuesday in the office. (It may or may not have been raining, but it sounds more interesting this way.) There was an ominous smell of coffee and maple sugar emanating from the kitchen. Everything seemed dull and ordinary – or so everyone thought. Little did they know there was a crime transpiring.
Later, around noon, hungry employees in search of the midday meal entered the kitchen with what would be fleeting glee. They went to the fridge where they had stored three slices of leftover pizza from a late working session the evening before. To their dismay, it was gone. Sauce, cheese, dough, banana peppers – all gone. They searched high and low to no avail. First came the frowns. Then a few tears. Then the accusations. This is when the investigation began. It all started with a text, “Pizza disappearance, was it you?” to whom seemed the most likely suspect. A curt, “No” came back in a flash.
The page then echoed throughout the office, calling for the culprit to come forward and confess his or her crime.
Suspect 1 – The first to the kitchen. “It wasn’t me!” she bellowed. She did seem believable, holding her Lean Cuisine and approaching the microwave with a certain fervor. She seemed all too eager to eat her lunch to have consumed three slices of pizza a short time ago.
Suspect 2 – “We have a pizza bandit among us, do we?” he smirked. As one of the first people to arrive in the morning and a known offender of eating random leftovers, this suspect has been asked not to leave the state. (Some distinctly remember a meatball incident about this time last year.)
Suspects 3, 4, and 5. “I can’t believe someone would highjack pizza,” they rumbled in unison. It has been suggested that there is strength in numbers, and each could have easily eaten a single piece each and are sticking together.
Suspect 6 – The last person to see the pizza. “I know the pizza was there, on top of the cans, right?” she stated.
Sadly, the trail has gone cold and the dirty thief remains at large. (Though, the plate was placed in the dishwasher.) Updates to follow.
Tagged with pizza