Thursday
May 17, 2012

USPS has it their way.

Here’s my question – do lawyers at major brands get a bonus if they exceed a litigation quota? A sue-mission, if you will? Because that’s my only explanation for this.

The United States Postal Service has sued Burger King for negatively portraying mail carriers in a 2010 TV commercial. (Watch the YouTube video if you need to jog your memory.) Though The King has denied any wrongdoing, they have settled with USPS, and agreed to do something – but at that point I was laughing too hard to read the rest of the article.

Now, you know there’s a lawyer somewhere who is itching to get in on this action. So I took the time to determine all the other groups who may have been offended by BK’s defamatory advertisement:

Businessmen

Landscapers

Guys wearing white undershirts

Paperboys

Shaggy-haired flutists

Morning joggers

Paramedics

Police offices

Accident victims

Scantily-clad blondes

Easily distracted bicyclists (see above)

Barbers

Operators of heavy machinery

People who live and/or work on the second floor of buildings

Parachuters

I smell the most eclectic class-action lawsuit ever. Everyone gets free Whoppers for life. Thanks USPS – perhaps you can celebrate by raising the price of stamps for the billionth time.

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